“’Dear Patron:’ A Savage Terrorist Attack on the Weakest Most Vulnerable Members of Western Civilization, Book Critics!”

[NOTE AND BACKGROUNDER: This is a slightly edited version—for reasons of privacy only—of a real  email a colleague of mine received recently.  Identifiers, names, addresses, urls etc. have been X’ed out.  Book Critics (sullied by some recurrent craven disreputable yellow-bellied reflexes and failures of nerve, me included) are not known for courage off the page, and have understandably gone into hiding (under their desks).  Just as well perhaps.   No one will miss them other than authors and publishers with new releases, those skewed emotionally fragile souls ardently hoping for a buss and a blurb, a Godspeed, from the Arbiters of Taste.  They too may be relieved, come to think of it. Reviews are always iffy.  The worst thing is being ignored. Now authors and publishers have an excuse and can discharge their excess stress and flooding cortisol on the FBI and other officious indifferent parties who could care less about their sudden contact with life as it is today.  Just kidding, of course!  All in jest! Going off the grid now.  Will be in touch….]

May the 1st , 2013 –

Dear Patron . I earnestly hope this message of mine finds you in mesmerizing happiness. At the outset it is an unparalleled human privilege for me to be writing this email to you.

It would be a triumphant mortal honor for me , if you choose to give any comment of yours for the fabric of righteousness , for my Poetry Book – Love Versus Terrorism – Poems on Anti Terror , Peace , Love , Brotherhood ( 607 pages ) . I presume , you can browse almost about 200 pages of this Poetry Book of mine for free by clicking at the cover of this Poetry Book – at the Amazon.com Kindle Store at XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX .

I can even email you my above mentioned Poetry Book – in its entirety in the microsoft word document format .

I am XXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX , a XX year old poet and author from XXXXXXXX, XXXXXXX . I am also an Eight – Time World Record holder for my Poetry with the XXXX Book of XXXXXX factor God Bless You Blissful Abundance) . Visit me at XXXXXXXXXXX – to browse thousands of my Poem, my complete Poetry Books, my world records in Poetry and awards. I am humble before you

My style of Poetry / literature is unique and has never ever been written before or experimented on the mortal planet by any mortal . Though my Poetry / literature is normal and natural .

God’s astoundingly invincible grace on me.

I have authored Poetry Books which include – 1 God , The Womb , Love Versus Terrorism , You die , I die – Love Poems , Life=Death , The Power of Black , If you cut a tree , You cut your own mother , Hide and Seek , Longest Poem – Only as Life . These Poetry Books comprise of nearly a 7000 pages of my Poetry , have approximately 1.25 million words in them , contain about 2127 of my differently titled Poems and almost a 265000 lines – in their totality .

Currently my Poetry Books are available for purchase in the ebook format from Amazon.com Kindle Store – in the US , UK , Denmark , France , Spain , Italy , Japan , Canada , Brazil .

To buy my Poetry Books in the ebook format from the Amazon.com Kindle Store , please visit –
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

I would sincerely appreciate it, if you let me know as to whether you would be commenting for the fabric of nicety, on my Poetry Book –  Love Versus Terrorism – Poems on Anti Terror, Peace, Love, Brotherhood ( 607 pages ), or not .

Thank you and take care.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXX XXXXXXXXX

Direct Telephone – XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Postal Address –

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXX XXXX

XXXXX XXXXXXXXXX XXXXX

XXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXX

XXXXX XXXX

Email – XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Website – XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

[Come on, somebody.  It’s only 607 pages.  We need a hero here!  Step up to the line.  Maybe it’s good. How will you ever know if you don’t take a peek at least?]

About Margaret Jean Langstaff

A lifelong critical reader with literary tastes, a novelist, short story writer, essayist, book critic, and professional book editor for many years. A consultant to publishers and authors, providing manuscript critiques and a full range of editorial services. A friend and supporter of all other readers and writers. A collector of signed modern first editions. Animal lover and tree hugger. Follow me on Twitter @LangstaffEditor
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5 Responses to “’Dear Patron:’ A Savage Terrorist Attack on the Weakest Most Vulnerable Members of Western Civilization, Book Critics!”

  1. J.B. Long says:

    That’s a lot of poetry. How do they find time to eat? But hey, I can’t knock the hustle.

    Like

    • Writers need readers and have to take the initiative; it’s a fact. This poet is singularly productive; 1.2 million words! That’s a tsunami of verse.

      Like

      • J.B. Long says:

        Ha! My thought was that if one wrote that many poems, no matter how quickly or without revision, surely one of them is bound to be a hit. The trick would be finding someone to closely read them all.

        Like

        • The real trick is getting anyone to read anything. Think about it. If a writer buries his/her gems in an endless stream of hit or miss, haphazard efforts, the chances are no one will take the time to discover them in the dross.

          Like

          • J.B. Long says:

            Agreed! I’m banalphobic to a fault. I’d rather read pr write one sentence of boundless depth than 6000 pages of passive ruminations.

            Like

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